I moved to Denver yesterday.
The TSA, while important, is absolutely friggen retarded. My carry on was, seriously, 1 centimeter over their required size. I have never in many flights had to use that stupid bag measuring thing airports have, but yesterday I did and images of Meet the Parents-esque situations started bubbling in my mind. There were 4 power hungry TSA screeners saying to me “it’s not going to fit, trust me.” I wanted to say “Listen bitch, it’s gonna fit,” however new fees have been added if you hassle those people (up to like $1500 fine). So I said “Listen, I’m not trying to make trouble, I’m just trying to show you that it will in fact fit.” After jamming it in, 1 cm was poking up still.
“Sorry you have to check that bag.”
“That’s going to cost me $80″
“Oh well”
I walk back, talk to a ticket agent, and then go back to the security area. I hear one of the ass-mongrels tell another “He’s coming back.”
“It will fit,” I say.
I walk over to the measurer, jam the bag in and slam it down. It fits. I look at them, give them my ticket, and walk away without a word into more security screening.
It doesn’t end there.
I had lost my license earlier, and my passport was expired. I was travelling with an expired passport, expired old license, social security card and insurance card. They had apparently marked my ticket for extra screening. I did not however, get this screening. The first time around anyway.
I went to the waiting area and sat for a while, then as the plane was boarding, the guy looks at my ticket and hands it to a colleague and mumbles something I cannot hear. He tells me to step out of line. “Oh shit, what now.”
I say, “Sir, I would like to know what is going on. I want you to tell me why you are denying me access to a plane and seat I have paid for.” He says, “Just wait there, sir.”
After everyone had boarded, someone escorts me back to the security area because they apparently did not screen me correctly. I make the plane and all that, but not too happy about the process.
These stupid friggin idiots make sure that my bag is not 1cm over the regulations, but they don’t screen me correctly for other, potentially more dangerous items.
Something is not right about that.
